when i was a freshman in college i wanted to dress up for halloween because i thought surely college students would have the spirit. so i elected to put together a whole entire Skull Kid from legend of zelda majora’s mask cosplay together and wear that fucking ensemble to college on halloween.
i step on campus and realize immediately that not one other person is dressed
up. not so much as a cat ear headband. so imagine this fucking dude sitting in a class of otherwise
normally dressed people looking like this. that was me. this was my 9/11
Good news! Not only have we discovered that tardigrades thwart destruction by turning themselves into glass, but we potentially have a future in which we can use their proteins to freeze-dry medications and vaccines to transport to disadvantaged communities!!
spoilers: they turn into glass. no jokes, folks.
Putting a spoiler on this article after I just said that part in my own post is levels of disrespect hitherto unseen. I think ur my dad now
JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: THESE CUNTS TURN INTO GLASS
